HELLP in pregnancy

Here is an encouraging post I found in one of my groups that I belong to. www.hellpsyndrome@yahoogroups.com

Hi all! My name is Dee, I suffered with the Hellp Syndrome back in 1997 it was my first pregnancy and my dr at that time thought I was a hypochondriac because everything hurt and I felt terrible, finally at 24 1/2 weeks I started preterm labor and was hospitalized my bp was 180 over 120 walking - finally got to see the specialists - with severe pre eclampsia, hellp syndrome and an undiagnosed case of lupus. My baby was born at 26 weeks - 1lb 1oz at 1:40 on the first of June measuring 1ft 1 inch I named my son Adam. We had such a hard struggle in the Nicu and I was able to take my baby home after 3 months. He unfortunately passed away at 6 1/2 months from a fatal heart arythmia. My heart was broken as you can all imagine. A few months later I found myself pregnant again and started seeing a specialist right away he told me we would take it day by day, I was on moderate bed rest from week 8 - had to take shots of lovenix and heparin every day. My Michael was born at 37 weeks and he was 5lbs 6ozs. Before Michael turned a year old we moved to Fl and I looked for new dr's NOT that I was planning any more kids but in case, I did want a dr that knew of HELLP and found that there were not that many. One dr offered to give me hysterectomy because I was just lucky to have Michael and should never think of more children, sadly many dr's felt that way. 5 years after being here in FL I got the news I was having another baby. I was so saddened because a lot of the dr's felt I should terminate because they didn't know enough about Hellp and didn't want to try. So I called the local hospitals with level 3 NICU's to see who they would recommend. Met a wonderful dr who in turn wanted to learn everything he could about HELLP syndrome. He got a wonderful team together and thru learning about Hellp with me he was able to diagnose some other patients that he also thought were just hypochondriacs with Hellp. My last baby Nicolas was born on 10/30 weighing a big 6lbs 13ozs. I wanted to share that with those who have been told you can never have another baby after having Hellp the first time. My last pregnancy was very closely monitored and everything turned out great. I thank God and my wonderful dr's all the time! Please feel free to write me!!!!

I found this story very sad but encouraging. I wrote the words below.

Thanks so much Dee for sharing your story. We get much encouragement
hearing how others can go on to deliver a HELLP free baby!

Just this past Tuesday I went to a cardiologist for re occuring PVC's, light headedness, nausea
and low grade fever. I mentioned that I could possibly be pregnant but that it was too early to test. I told him my history of ITP in 98, having benign PVC's in 2002, diagnosed with sleep apnea in 2002, HELLP with my second pregnancy in 2003, and a miscarriage Aug. 2007. He had no clue what HELLP was so I went on to explain. His comment was "I wouldn't recommend any further pregnancies after having HELLP". He was an older doc probably in his late or early 60's. Given he didn't know anything about HELLP he should have kept that comment to himself! He did mention it more than once during our conversation. I then left to get an EKG and was ordered to come back for a holter monitor and stress test. Everything came back normal.. thank You Jesus!
I have had members of my family even tell me "maybe God is telling you something"... "that maybe you aren't meant to have anymore children". I guess they don't realize how much it hurts to hear those words. I know God put us on this earth to "Be fruitful and multiply". If I am not supposed to have any more children I think I would know it in my heart.

Back in Sept. of 2006, through much praying and with much strength from God, I found the courage to start TTC. I had my IUS removed, my headaches stopped and I felt free from the pain. For the first time since my daughters birth I was sooooo ready to try again. My husband was away most of the days I was fertile so ttc was not in our favor. Finally, in June of 2007 my husband was home for over a month and I found out I was pregnant June 25, 2007. Three days later my mother-in-law passed away. She was fighting colon cancer for many years. The cancer spread to her lungs and liver. She was thrilled to know we were having another child and hopefully helped her pass on happily to heaven!

Anyhow, I miscarried Aug. 1st and again Dec. 16th of 2007. We are both frustrated but hopeful. We would like one more child and pray for another miracle this year!

Blessed hugs to all our moms!

PICTURE ABOVE IS OF MY HUSBAND CUDDLING EMILY'S KITTY. I GAVE THAT KITTY TO HIM BEFORE EMILY WAS BORN 2003...FOR HIM TO GIVE EMILY. EMILY ENJOYED SEEING DADDY HUG HER KITTY.

Tiffany Nicole

Passing of a loved one..

On June 28th, 2007 my mother-in-law passed away after fighting many years with colon cancer. We only met in person two times in our lives but we kept in touch via phone and e-mails. I met Sande the first time I met Ryan Feb. 23, 2002. She always had a calming and encouraging way about her. I miss not being able to talk to her on the phone and share Emily's daily happenings with her. We miss her very much but know she is in a better place.

Here is our only picture of our little one that we miscarried Aug.1, 2007. I was 8.5 weeks along.

Gently they go,


the beautiful , the tender, the kind;


Quietly they go,


the intelligent, the witty, the brave.


I know. But I do not approve.


And I am not resigned.


Poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay(1900's lyrical poet and play writer)

Mother’s Pride


She gave me life and nurtured me


When I was like a budding tree.


She showed me what is false and true,


And how to smile when I was blue.


She taught me almost everything


That life would someday bring,


Taught me what was right or wrong,


How to read, to sing a song.


Now she’s with a Shining Star,


Time is running like the tide


And I have wandered very far


With memories of my Mother’s pride.

Poem by Ken and Sandy Parrish

Losing a little one..

I am posting this message about what I went through during my recent miscarriage. It will be 3 wks. tomorrow since the little one went to heaven. So many thoughts passed my mind and if it wasn't for my faith in God to get me through this loss I still would be in a deep depression. The shock came first, then tears, then denial, then severe loss, then depression, and more uncontrollable tears. I was so very sad. I couldn't see other pregnant mother's, or little ones being held by their moms. Other thoughts that came through during the loss... Did I take too many or the wrong vitamins? Did the stress of losing my mother-in-law affect the embryo? Did the long drive to New York for the wake and the lack of sleep during those 10 days cause this to happen? Was it the pneumonia/bronchitis I had for 2 wks or the medication I took to help(with the Ob doc. permission) me rid my body of the infection attacking my lungs cause the little one to not develop a heart beat? Was it the herbal medication I was taking before I found out I was pregnant? Was it the lack of morning sickness? Tears kept flowing no matter what was racing through my mind... I cried in the shower, watching tv, doing laundry, and seeing the sweet baby boy outfit my mom sent me when we both were thinking I was having a boy. I cried off and on, non-stop at times. I was tired, in pain emotionally, physically and mentally! All this had to happen in order to get through the loss! Ryan was at my side the whole time. God made sure Ryan was on his way home when I found out we were losing our baby. What got me passed the depression and the ability to understand our loss?...many prayers, lots of praying on my part, many hours spent reading online support groups, talking to my family and hearing what others went through during their miscarriage. I have a friend who lost her third baby the day after she delivered. She also lost her first baby and now has a beautiful 3 1/2 year old. I heard her story and what she went through and that helped me to get through the depression.

Losing a little one 8.5 wks was what God knew I could handle given what the little one would have gone through had he/she lived any longer. Ryan and I plan to start trying again soon. God answered another prayer.. to keep Ryan closer to home. Ryan is working about 45 mins. away on a land rig. He will be able to come home most days.. as he will be working the night shift. This is a blessing! I hope to be pregnant in the next few months...can't be soon enough for me! Below is a blog I wrote Aug. 5th. My heart goes out to all mother's! God will see us through and bring us joy in the end!


(August 5th blog) Just wanted to send an update on the pregnancy. I had a miscarriage and lost the little one Aug. 1st. I was in my 8.5 week. This pregnancy was different in that I never had the nausea and I started spotting. With this pregnancy I had very lite brown spotting with some pink on the 12th and it started up again on the 24th. I never soaked a pad, had any cramps or pain. We thought it was normal as most people do experience spotting during what would have been their normal period.(mine would have started the 24th).

There was no heart beat during our first ultrasound(July 30th) and we had another one today(July 31st) so Ryan can see for himself. I had the miscarriage naturally at home and it was very difficult. The whole process took longer than I would have preferred but wanted to be home instead of at a hospital. It took a toll on my nerves and emotions... of course Ryan didn't know what to do with himself or me... with me crying all the time etc.. Having him home to help me and right by my side was all I needed.

Emily stayed at her Aunt Sonja's house which was a blessing. I am not taking all this too well but know all will work out in the end with Gods Help and healing Hands! I am still a bit weak, tired and emotionally drained but every day has been a little bit better! This has probably been one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever had to go through. The first being Emily's delivery and recovery of course. Sharing with everyone that knew of the pregnancy has been hard but necessary.

Ryan and I were so looking forward to this baby. It took me a while to find the courage to have another baby after Emily's premature delivery and my problems with HELLP syndrome. We went to the lab Fri. Aug. 3rd to have blood drawn and to see the doc. Our doctor said we could start trying after my next normal cycle. With Ryan working for 3 to 4 weeks at a time away from home and knowing I will be 40 next February we really need to pray for a miracle to happen soon. Thanks for reading. Many Prayers our way will be appreciated. --

Love to all. Tiffany Nicole

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day Dad!

Parrish Family-1970

Ryan's Daddy's

Ernie Bodo

Dana Drake (Bottom photo)

Happy Father's Day Richard Orth (below)

This was Ryan's first Father's Day spent with his family in such a long time. We will end our day at Philip & Trudy Bilisolys house for a Father's Day dinner.

Ryan has been home almost 3 weeks! It has been a blessing but hard on our pocket books. He has spent most of his days and some late nights working on all our cars.

We did get to swim, workout at the YMCA and visit the Animal Planet Expo. On Ryan's first full day home we went out to eat at Bone Fish. It was the best place we have eaten so far! This was out late Mother's Day/ Father's Day treat to one another.

We were also able to spend our anniversary together on June 14th. I gave Ryan a set of Planet Earth DVD's. These DVD's show incredible views of our beautiful & fascinating world that God created! I would recommend them to all!

Happy Father's Day to all Dad's.

Happy Father's Day to OUR Father In Heaven!

Love to all! Tiffany Nicole

Mother's Day and HUGS!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, Sandy Parrish and Ryan's Mom, Sande Orthe. "He will keep you strong to the end" ...1Corintians 1:8 We love you both!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

HPC had many inspirational messages and gifts to all moms and widows today in church. Pastor Dino had me laughing through out the messages and crying toward the end. There were women handing out flyers and bracelets as you entered church. The church was packed but I managed to find two seats close to where I usually sit. Pastor Dino shared verses and clips of songs that pertained to the words.. "Momma said"...you know like... "Momma said there be days like this..." I sat alone as I usually do in church since Ryan is away at work. This time I couldn't help but feel a little down when pastor asked all moms to stand and then asked their loved ones to hug their wives and moms. I longed to have Ryan there hugging me... Then someone placed their hand on my back and I lost it!!!!!! Tears that I was holding in just poured down my face...

HUGS ARE...

There's something in a simple hug,
That always warms the heart,
It welcomes us back home,
and makes it easier to part.

A hug's a way to share the joy,
and sad times we go through,
or just a way for mothers to say,
they like you 'cause you're you.

Hugs are meant for anyone,
for whom we really care,
from your mother to your grandma to your neighbor,
or a cuddly bear.

A hug is an amazing thing,
it's just the perfect way,
to show the love we're feeling,
but can't find the words to say.

It's funny how a little hug,
makes everyone feel good,
in every place and language,
it's always understood.

And hugs don't need new equipment,
special batteries or parts,
just open up your arms,
and open up your hearts!
Source is Unknown

Here are some of my favorite verses from Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever if noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Remember to be FREE (by Pastor Dino)

Focus on the word
Restore prayer
Enlist in a life group
Extend out to others

Love to all moms!

Tiffany Nicole

Temps, Roller Coaster, Thankful

Tues. 4/24/07 Quick update on Emily. She is still running a low temp but has been with out tylenol for a day now. The highest it went today was 102.9 right before nap. She woke up very wet with sweat during todays nap so I think this fight is almost done! AMEN! We did manage to leave the apartment to get some groceries before she started to feel really tired.
Wed. 4/25/07 Wow.. fever finally gone.. Thank You Jesus. Emily is feeling tons better today! Even though she still has that on and off coughing it hasn't stop her from having fun. She has her energy batteries on also...lol. Her appetite has kicked in big time. I am relieved to see our happy, energetic little girl once again!

Now that Emily is doing better, I on the other hand was going though an Emotional Rollercoaster most of the day today. You know.. when you cry very easily or feel emotional about almost everything, when you just can't discribe what is going on or understand.. .when you ask yourself repeatedly...What is going on here?...why do I feel so strange?...why do I feel like I am going out of my mind?.. Could it be the late nights not being able to sleep? the pressure to find us a home? the fear of the unknow? the longing to have my husband home? the guilt of turning down an offer to work? the uncomfortable vehicle I dread to drive on hot days?(ac not working for over a year now), the dead van that has been sitting for over a month.... the dental appointment I am avoiding that I need to make? the never ending laundry... the clutter... rediculous ha!... pity party time! .... confusion... none the less... all I know to do is get on my knees and pray... PRAY!... to be back to my normal self tomorrow!... PRAY that all will turn out fine... PRAY for clarity.. PRAY for peace of mind.. PRAY to remove all the mind binding thoughts..... In JESUS NAME.. AMEN!! After dinner, that is exactly what I did.. and now as I type I feel a relief! Maybe the relief came from sharing what I was feeling but I think the relief came earlier when God lifted me up and held me while I prayed.

I have envisioned OUR Fathers arms around me, comforting me quite a bit the last few months. The feeling is powerful, loving, warm and peaceful. I am thankful I don't have these rollercoaster moments everyday. I am thankful to have such a loving God. Knowing He is there for US when ever we need him and there for US when we don't have our love ones to turn to.... He is an Awesome God!! .... I love that song.....Our God is an Awesome God.. he lives from heaven above... with Wisdom, Power and Love.. Our God is an Awesome God! (I hope those are the right words to the song.. haven't heard it in a while).
(Ignore the date posted on the picture above.. this was taken Easter 2007)
I had a visit from my sister Sonja today. Emily must have overheard me talking to Sonja when she called. I didn't tell Emily that Jonah was coming over but she knew something was up. As soon as I hung up the phone she kept asking me, every few minutes, "Are they here yet?". It was nice seeing a familiar and happy face on a morning I wasn't quite myself! Thank YOU sis for taking time out of your morning to visit... even if you were just in the neighborhood! Also, Thank you for all the times you have offered to help with the house hunting this week...even though I haven't taken you up on your offer(just yet), I do appreciate your help and encouragement!

I will retire tonight and read from the book of Hebrews. Blessings to all. -"The Lord is my helper, I will not fear...." Hebrews 13:5-6

Fun, Fever and Rosacea?

Had an interesting weekend. I watched two brothers age 7 and 2 1/2 all day Saturday and Sunday. Saturday went very well.. the kids kept busy playing with a water table, water guns, magnetic fishing rod, playdough, leggos, and trains. It was nice seeing Emily have fun with the boys. At the end of the day she called them her brothers. She even hugged the youngest more than once. She ask if the little boy was her brother. (Ignore the date on the photos.. haven't updated it)
I took the kids to church Saturday for the 5 pm Healing Place church. They seemed to have a great time. The youngest child wasn't too happy to be in an unfamiliar place but that didn't last too long. He spotted(with my suggestion) some cars on a table and large trucks to play with.. he was soon off ready to explore. I then took the oldest child to his class. I had the pleasure of visiting the up stairs where the older kids hang out. I had never been up there before. It is set up much like a theather. You have to check in at the ticket booth, they give you a ticket-like paper to keep and bring back when you pick up your child after church. I peeked in the theater area and the set up was awesome. The children looked like they were having fun... almost wanted to stay myself.
I missed most of the praise and worship but found a great seat next to the babies being dedicated that night. Seeing the babies reminded me once again how much I wanted to hold a little one in my arms and how much Emily wants a little brother.
We ended the day eating chinese at the HPC church playground.
Sunday was not as exciting, the boys were not in the best of moods when dropped off but that didn't last too long. They did manage to play a bit outdoors with chalk, a tunnel I bought Emily for Christmas and some ball play. After a half hour, everyone seemed a bit tired including my daughter. No one wanted much lunch and were ready for nap early. The oldest even wanted to rest on the floor cushions. He watched some old disney movies. After putting the youngest down for nap, I heard Emily moaning and crying a bit. I felt her neck and it was very hot. Seems she started running a 102.5 temp. She couldn't sleep and just tossed and turned. I gave her a bath, water and tried to keep her comfortable. It brought her temp down for a few hours. Later that afternoon she found energy to play with the boys but that soon wore off when they left at 6:20. Her temp went as high as 103.2 around 6:30 that night.
Today was spent taking temps, folding laundry, holding and comforting Emily. Her temp went as high as 103.5 today. I didn't give her any tylenol till it the temp reached 103. I believe in letting her body fight off what is causing the fever before giving her anything. Emily ate very little today. She found energy to play a little bit with her water table and playdough. Most of the time she rested, watched her shows, and colored in her no mess coloring book. She came up to me more than ever for hugs, kisses and to tell me she needed to rest. What a sweet girl she has become. I will post a few pictures I took of the children at play tomorrow.

Now to change the subject....
I have become very sensitive to the sun especially during the winter and hot summer days. I have been battling rosacea for more than a few years now. When it acts up I have to stay out of the sun and heat. I know there could be worse things to complain about but it does make it hard to get out and enjoy a walk or time at the park with out suffering consequences afterwards. One day out in the sun last week left me with bumps and never ending itchiness to my face this week. Oh the rosey red, slapped in the face cheeks make you feeling like your face is on fire! I have done some reading on the matter and pretty much everything can irritate my face or trigger a break out..even foods. I have seen the dermatologist more than once but they just prescribe something that makes my face more sensitive and could cause defects if trying to get pregnant... so they are a no no. Anyhow, I am rambling once again and complaining too much for my own good. If anyone out there knows a good remedy for rosacea, send me an e-mail. I will close for now. Happy Birthday to my mother-in-law Sande! Have a too Blessed to be stressed week! I will try to do the same.

Tiffany Nicole