Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Praying to defy the odds!

Nov. 4th, 2009 9:09pm I am playing the waiting game. My LMP was Sept. 5, 2009 making me 8.4 wks (Nov.4th, 2009) today according to the estimated due date wheel I used to carry when I worked in the OB/Gyn field back in 2003. I suspected I was pregnant after not getting my usual migraines right before my menses. My menses usually run every 26 days. On day 28 I had a positive pregnancy test. I was in awe of myself since my husband and I weren't trying this last month due to me having the flu and symptoms lasting almost 2 wks. We were together maybe 2 days before the flu symptoms and 1 day while I was recovering and felt a little better. I now wish I would have put those days on the calendar but didn't. I also didn't feel that I ovulated but probably cause I was talking Tylenol for joint pain and fever. Anyhow, I went for my OB appt. Oct. 26 and all went well. I then came back for my USD, according to my LMP I should have been 7.4wks. My oldest daughter (age 21) came with me. The Tech asked 3 times if I was sure on my date of the LMP and I said yes. We saw a gestational and yolk sac but not fetal pole or HB. She said the sack measured me at being only 6wks. She didn't say anything else and said to come back in a week. We did draw HCG levels. Oct. 26 they were 18,747 and on Oct. 28th they were 16,000. Nothing was said about a possible loss or M/C but I knew that levels falling was not a good sign. It is possible that I was dehydrated after crying myself sick the whole two days of waiting to do another HCG. The nurse mentioned to continue the Progesterone which I started the day I test UPT positive. She also said to have pelvic rest till next wks USD. It was hard looking at an empty sack but I kept myself from crying until the drive home. For 2 days I lost it! Prayed, cried, grieved.. I was a mess. I searched online and ran into this site.(http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/mycommunity/viewtopic.php?p=88633) After reading the stories I decided to wait 2 wks before getting another USD. I am now waiting. Nothing new has happened...no bleeding, still having off and on nausea, breast tenderness, tingling sensation in breast, aversion to some foods, sense of smell increasing, constipation even though I am NOT taking a vitamin with iron. My headaches were finally every 4 to 6 days and better the 3rd wk while taking 200mg Progesterone. Now for my previous history... My first pregnancy back in July of 1988 went beautifully.. although I was very sick and lost weight but then gain a ton towards the end. I was also only 20. My second pregnancy was July of 2003. I was 35 and started having problems at 28wks. I ended up with HELLP and sick for 2 wks in and out of ICU. My miracle baby was only 2.8oz and hanging in..she was in the NICU for almost 2 months. She came home only weighing 4.11oz, breastfeeding well and breathing on her own! Thank you Jesus! At my 6 wks check up I decided to have an IUD in place because I was terrified to have another child. Not until Sept. 2006 did I get the courage from God to try again. I had it removed and got pregnant 9 months later + upt on June 25th, 2007(now age 39) I was almost 7 wks when I started spotting brown and that was it. At 8 wks(July 30th.. I was still spotting and went in for my USD and there was the fetus but no HB I cried instantly and left there a mess. I didn't tell my husband till he came home the next day. We went in once again for another USD(July 31st) in radiology and they said the same. My doctor told me my options. I sure wish I looked for this site back then.. I may have held on for another couple wks before using a pill to help pass the little one. I passed the little one Aug. 1st. I passed a huge clot and what looked like dark areas on both side of a small grey mass. We collected it and brought it to the doctor. She said that it was probably a chromosomal abnormality and that she didn't think we needed to test it. I now wish we would have. It took a long time to grieve for this little one in heaven. In Dec. 2007, I tested positive again and then started bleeding really heavy on Dec. 17 which would have made me only 4.5 wks along. This was the same day my family had an early Christmas at my sister Sonja's house and the same day I drove to visit my parents in Florida. I didn't go to the doc.. but did call to let them know what happened. I never had a D&C and just let them it pass naturally. So that is my story. Here I am age 41, maybe 8.3 wks according to LMP or 7wks according to the USD and nothing has happened yet. My last HCG level was Nov.5 It went down to 10,000. ;( I rescheduled my USD for this coming Mon. Nov. 9 at 10:30CST. Ryan came home last Friday, so he will be with me this time for the USD. I keep reading, and praying for a Miracle. I am hopeful after reading others with the same drop in HCG levels and USD showing nothing but two sacs and then they find a HB!!! I know what ever happens will be Gods plan and is out of my control! I pray for a good outcome for all in the same waiting game. God Bless for reading this to the end. Tiff. Nicole
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For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made: My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in the secret place... PSALMS 139: 13-16

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